Home | Current
Season | Away
Events | Administration | Members | Records | Previous SeasonsWeekly Reports: Season 2019–20 Your report fast track . . . Tuesday, March 24, 2020 As Jacko reports . . . Six acceptances for Tuesday and one assumed acceptance until he wasn’t. Pinky advised early Tuesday morning that his foot had grown to a foot and a half and he would have to bail. Dennis advised sometime Wednesday that he was grounded (not allowed out to play for the foreseeable future) and so we shouldn’t have expected him. So it was four starters social distancing their way around The Pines at Collier. Litts has found his mojo and rattled off three 3 pointers before easing back to 2s and 1s, although a 4 pointer at the sixth hole gave him 10 points for his three 2 stroke holes in a total of 21. The long game was there and once he puts the final touches to the short game, he should be back to being the low handicapper. Squancey struggled early with just 8 points after five holes but hit his straps at the sixth and rattled off three pars in the run home to post 19 points. Jacko was cruising early with 15 points after six holes but the putter took on a mind of its own over the remaining holes and he could only manage 19 to fade into third on a countback. Macca was feeling fit after his weekend hit-out and was holding his own among the long hitters on occasion, but lack of match practice saw him waste opportunities and with just 3 points over the final four holes, he finished with 11. Results:
Tuesday, March 17, 2020 It was our final game at Hamersley, and a healthy group of seven assembled to bow out with our second Par round. Brian looked in peak condition after his South West safari while all were wondering if Macca had set the wrong alarm time – coffee wasn't for another 90 minutes! But here he was, determined to prove his shoulder one way or the other. And we watched with trepidation as he adopted that familiar crouch and swatted the ball nice and easy down the left without a twinge of discomfort. Terrific stuff!! Pinky was showing leftist tendencies early and was seeing red over the middle stretch before becoming more conservative toward the end of the round. The hits to the left reached a crescendo at the 14th, 3 consecutive shots crashing into trees in the left rough and setting up a convincing 'minus', the yips continuing to the 15th for the same result. But either side of these troubles he recovered well to play the other 7 holes, some from tricky spots, in 8 shots over and be the only player to finish in the positives. Squancey is setting his own consistency standard, mixing mainly pars and bogeys with the occasional "blow out" hole that causes a bit of vocal frustration. The nature of golf is such that fine ball striking so typical of his game sometimes doesn't earn the desired result, but he'd done enough to clinch second on countback from Jacko who was looking decidedly dangerous today. Rattled off a series of bogeys, par and a birdie at the 16th, potting an 18ft putt in the process. But it was two of the longest par 4's that proved the difference with doubles on each.
There were Little bounces everywhere today, poor shots rebounding back onto fairways at a regular rate. Dalbs was one of the exceptions though he did provide a few opportunities. Kept mainly to the green stuff and, while striking some good approach shots, also botched a few and just couldn't sink the clutch putts. Litts was out of the blocks early with smooth striking and 2 pars. But, as the round progressed, some of the momentum was lost on the longer holes (except the last with the Long Drive!) and the putts were going agonisingly close but wouldn't drop. Walks obviously couldn't take a trick (though he's a gun at the game of Bridge!). Two doubles to start, two triples and a quad in the middle, and a double to finish. Methinks there were balls flying everywhere except in the intended direction. And Macca was just toodling along, the inability to put his normal power into shots meaning he took a few more to get to the green where he pitched and putted well. But, if the main point of the exercise was to get through without discomfort, he did so in spades (and he's a good bridge player as well).
Round Results:
Tuesday, March 10, 2020 The NTBT finally found a home. After last minute advice by Peninsula that several temporary greens would be in place while repairs to greens were being undertaken, Jacko suggested Glen Iris, just perfect for the 3 South-of-the-River boys, and no problem getting a 6.30 a.m. tee off. Problem solved! "I'm devastated!" He turned, thought, turned again to face the pro. "I'm completely devastated!" The pro just stared, his face devoid of expression. "Never been so devastated". He was still going as I left the pro shop in wonderment to stride off to the 1st tee with the other three season diehards - Jacko, Squancey and Walks. All seemed fairly normal, ground staff zooming around, fairways and bunkers appeared in reasonably good condition. But as we progressed, it became obvious that the greens had deteriorated, many with bare patches. Nevertheless we all still enjoyed the experience on a course that never ceases to have some bite.
Dalbs seems to have taken a liking to Glen Iris, having knocked up 47 and 43 points in previous Winter golf outings. He was doing his best to avoid a repeat, missing very short putts over the first 4 holes before potting a 5m putt on the par 3 5th for birdie! Managed to keep tee shots mainly on the green stuff for a change and had mixed fortunes out of the sand to keep the points ticking over before executing a finely crafted drop-kick putt at the last to finish as badly with the short stick as he'd begun, and almost being steamrolled by a fast-finishing Walks. Walks was at his unpredictable, swashbuckling best in a round that had it all . . . some magnificent long approach shots right at the pin to within a few metres for 3 pars each worth 4 points; a drive at the 4th that rebounded of a metal post supporting protective screening straight back to finish a metre behind his tee off point; various trips through the trees, angst in the sand and some wayward putts; and three consecutive pars for 9 points to finish the back 9 with 22 points and fall 1 point shy of forcing a countback . . . which he would have won!
Squancey was flinging a few drives left and right early and an expletive or two but then settled nicely to the task with some fine ball striking before some yips intruded over the closing outward holes . . . and persisted over 3 of the first 4 back 9 holes. And didn't the ball know about it! And it took heed, it's master striking great form and equally great shots to storm home with 4 pars and a bogey (and 15 points!) to claim yet another podium place. Jacko was master of the eclectic today, mixing some trademark drives, irons, chips and putts with numerous visits to the sand, one into the water and an overabundance of miscues. But no matter how what joy or heartache the previous shot produced, he's always concentrating on getting the next one right . . . and keeping his cool despite capturing today's NAGA. A note on the coffee table confirmed our suspicions. Glen Iris would cease to exist as from 1 April and would be turned over to residentail development. We were devastated. Completely devastated. Today's trophy almost had a prophetic touch about it (the Not the Burswood/Glen Iris Trophy?). And to cap off the day, I received a nice email from Peninsula thanking me for playing at Maylands!
Round Results:
Tuesday, March 3, 2020 The team of usual suspects mingled around the club house on yet another superb golfing morning. Rumours abounded about Scobes making an appearance but no one sighted the SUV. There were various interpretations of how he suddenly appeared, as if by magic, from the pro shop but these were from a select group who continue to believe that putting practice makes perfect rather than observing him quietly making his presence known. Today's band of six strolled down to the 10th tee totally relaxed after the rigours and expectations of Club Championship golf the previous week. What a difference a day makes. A week even, as witnessed by today's scores and placings. The Championship three copped a dose of the post-euphoria blues. Jacko struggled to get consistency off the tee and the fairway and made much more convincing excursions into the rough while Litts, try as he always might, found a few drives going every which way, some approach shots falling short and putts that didn't quite have that "touch". Walks was carrying a back problem, not that he'd use that as an excuse. After all, he was 8 shots over after 5 holes, 4 of these on a disastrous par 4 13th. What happened from the 15th on (2 wipes and 2 triples for just 2 points) can only be put down to feeling "out of sorts" as balls sprayed everywhere. The three at least shared one positive – a 1 shot handicap increase!
Dalbs had his signature first drive into the right rough but then managed to generally keep them on, or close to, the fairway with similar hit-and-miss fairway shots that added up to an uninspiring round made to look respectable by the generous handicap. But on a day when golf generally took a back seat, it was good enough for the win. Scholary Scobes was a picture of stiffness early after his golfing sabbatical, starting with a wipe before warming to the task. His driving steadily improved as did his consistency and demeanour, his consistent golf producing a series of 2 pointers and a 3 pointer to claim his second podium place in just 5 starts. Squancey was impressing the Captain with his driving today and with his putting, particularly from 2-3 metres. A few too many extra shots snuck in between these heroics but he did enough to make the podium and convince the said Captain that he's on the improve. It was a grim story for the novelties – no takers for either the NTP or LD.
Round Results:
Tuesday, February 25, 2020 A perfect morning greeted the defining round of the 2020 Club Championship. The four hopefuls were joined by Honorary Banana Bender Squancey and greeted by a whopping great branch that had fallen near the 10th tee. It didn't put anyone off judging by the squadron of 'flyers' off the tee that mostly sat a good distance down the green runway all with a chance at opening par. Par? Humbug! Let's start off with birdie by sinking a 4m putt! Then drill a 70m approach to within a few feet of the pin and pot it for par. It was looking to be a scary scenario as Jacko continued to caress the ball off the tee and the grass, admittedly with a few slightly astray shots along the way that barely ruffled the ruff. His putting was measured and assured as he drove home his iron fisted grip on the title with tidy work around the greens for two closing pars and a bogey to complete a very convincing round and a meritorious win. His net 30 today (birdie, 3 pars and 5 bogeys) and final net 64 were the second best round and winning totals, bettered only by Walks in 2014 (29; 61). CONGRATULATIONS Chris on a fantastic 2nd CC title.
A little can go a long way, especially if it's with a little short stick. He appeared to be swinging the willow same as last week but the results today were of the more cleaner, crisper, lofted, straighter variety. Well, allow for a few slight mishits on the way to the green but, once on the dance floor, the magic appeared. Litts was sinking them from all angles and distances, only 5 putts required over the first four holes, and three consecutive pars to start! The two longest par 4's proved troublesome (double bogeys) but the overall quality of his round was very much in the old Litts mould, his net 31 (4 pars; 3 bogeys; 2 doubles) a fighting effort that earned him a worthy second. The old war horse, and three times Championship winner, was doing his best to stay at bogey with a chance at a par or two. Until the 5th, Walks had achieved his bogey aim and feeling reasonably pleased. The road home unfortunately had a few speed bumps, three doubles in fact, with some long shots going astray as did a few around the greens. But he'd done enough to make the Championship podium yet again! Squancey was having mixed success. Of most cause for angst was an incurable tendency to execute an involuntary banana bend to the left. "Crack", "Crunch" as the Tree Whisperer rebounded a few off the trees, none of which fortunately dropped any branches, but we all stood clear in case. It was an intriguing round – 3 pars; 1 bogey; 2 doubles; 3 triples – and, pleased to say, a few of his trade mark and beautifully executed expletives. They were the only things that kept a hapless Dalbs sane. And, yes, another Apres Golf got a guernsey, Jacko still rampant and sharing the winning loot with Walks.
Round Results:
Tuesday, February 18, 2020 We created history today. The 6.54 teeoff time would be the latest we've experienced at Hamersley – certainly in my living memory which goes back at least a full day. Seems the online booking system was causing havoc, with unbooked hopefuls loitering around and a vacant 1st tee. While Jacko was helping the Glenn in the pro shop sort it, Walks was practicing his putting, Litts was musing and Dalbs was sprinting in with minutes to spare. And we were off to the vacant tee to commence the 20th Club Championship with four illustrious starters. Now showing – "Driving Miss Crazy". Dalbs chalked up a few misses off the first 4 tees – in Hamersley's only fairway bunker; way right and lost; onto the adjacent fairway; headed for the adjacent fairway found snuggled up to a tree. With half his handicap gone after 4, a repeat of last year's championship NAGA looked imminent. Birdie, par and two bogies later, he was back in the hunt despite a final hole attempt to foil that by deftly pushing a long putt attempt past the hole and off the green! Anything could happen next week. Jacko was a tad more conventional, the untad bits being a series of mishits over three holes for 3 doubles. In between two of those frustrating efforts, he knocked out 3 consecutive pars and subsequently added 1 more par and two bogies for a 44 off-the stick, just 2 shots over for his best 6 holes. Scary stuff if he repeats that in round 2.
Never one to hold back, Walks was launching into some towering drives and fairway shots, his best combination getting him onto the 330m par 4 4th in two before a wayward putter produced a bogey. Try as he might, he could only manufacture one par as some promising shots just lacked direction and a bit of army golf crept in from time-to-time. He's capable of anything next week. Litts was all concentration and seemed to be in reasonable rhythm, but some of the end results went scudding across the turf on the long shots and sometimes falling short on the chip shots. After such a long absence from the game . . . "it's like learning about the swing all over again". Despite his "angst" at various stages, he's just 4 shots off the lead and with Litts, you just never know! Leaderboard at halfway:
Results to be officially recorded:
Tuesday, February 11, 2020 A brisk easterly greeted the five starters as they lined up under new starters orders, otherwise known as the on-line booking system. All very straight forward really as we got the pro shop computer tick of approval and collectively drove off as a fivesome, the main point of interest being the Match Play final between Walks and Dalbs.
Match Play: It could've been a see-sawing start but the vagaries of the short stick plagued Walks early. After a superb pitch out of the rough to within a tad less than a metre from the pin, his putt "just missed" and Dalbs managed to square the 10th. After taking a more direct route to the 11th green, Dalbs went to the 12th tee 1-up where Walks needed another short putt to square the hole but "just missed" again. After squaring the 13th Dalbs teed off at the 14th 2-up (you bewdy!). But little did he know the little that we now know. After a bout of bushwalking and errant shots, he triple bogied while Walks also had a walk in the bush, including recovering off the back of the 13th tee where we both took time out to chat briefly to Phil Hipsley! Despite the detour, he still managed a double to win the hole. Walks's powerful drives and fairway shots were coming together while Dalbs was starting to wander (and wonder). The big fella won the next two to stride onto the 17th tee 1-up. A booming drive was followed by some errant irons while Dalbs played his best fairway iron from 140m out to set up a win and square it going into the 18th. Though both crashed their drives into trees, Dalbs kept doing the same and never recovered while Walks tore off, placing a superb iron from 80m out to within that magical metre before the "just missed" repeated again. But it was already all over. CONGRATULATIONS WALKS on a well deserved win.
Wedged between these two on the podium on a day of relatively low scores was the redoubtable Mr Little. There was no doubting his intent, that steady rhythm evident, but the results were sometimes topped (grrrrrr) or frustratingly short or off direction while the putter sometimes had other ideas which were neither innovative nor accurate. His playing partners, after the fivesome split at the 13th, were equally afflicted, Jacko describing his effort as "all over the place" Had most difficulty on the middle par 4's (both triples) which, interestingly, are both 343m. The meaning of the number 343 is to be confident about where you are and where you are headed. It therefore must've been a confidence thing(?) although he also struggled with both par 3's (doubles) but had the satisfaction of par at the 18th with a masterful approach to within a metre of the pin. Pinky could be excused for developing a 'thing' about Hamersley. The chocolate feast turned to boiled lollies on a morning where he drove mostly very well but topped, pushed and pulled shots off the fairway and those proverbial short putts made for some pretty difficult times over today's journey.
Results:
Tuesday, February 4, 2020 Did You Know . . . It's a GBW course favourite, not to be denied despite a forecast maximum of 42 degrees. A warm but pleasant morning greeted most players but it was already HOT at the Squance car bay. Not wishing to be embroiled in family affairs, we all ducked for cover as the volume rose a tad before Squancey ducked off to resolve the matter and later returned to be whisked away to the 5th hole in Macca's Taxi. Six players (ultimately), one Paparazzi/Drinks Waller and one specialist Tournament Director/Coach made up the numbers and we were off to play Quarry/Lake, handicaps inflated by the 'Slope' factor which proved its worth given challenges presented by the number of bunkers, steep slopes, deepish 1st cut and undulating greens.
The Royal Fremantle doctor was about to prove an ill wind that blew the rest of the field no good. Looking extremely fit, Pinky handled the hot conditions and the course very well in a solid performance characterised by an innate ability to stay mostly on the fairway. The undulating greens proved a challenge for all players, Brian's few 3 and 4 putts a direct result but as he quickly pointed out "Yea, but what about the 1 putts!!" His second Classic success was a resounding one streaking the field by 8 points. CONGRATULATIONS BRIAN. And then along came Walks, big chested Walks, slow startin' Walks, fast finishin' Walks, along came cheery, big chested Walks (with apologies to The Coasters). Three wipes in the first 4 holes before the double bogeys kicked in to help him turn with (unlucky?) 13 points. But he was up, down then middling over Lake before standing at the par 5 441m 18th hole tee with 28 points and 5 lost balls. Two shots later, he was just over the back of the green! One putt later, he'd just missed a monster double breaker that skimmed the hole before potting the return putt for birdie and 5 points! Dalbs was later to almost choke on his coffee when he heard of the consequences of that magnificent effort, one which relegated the Thin Man to third spot. Mind you, after flipping and flopping and delicately placing a few balls in quarries over Quarry, it looked as though the podium for Dalbs was a distant memory. But Lake proved lucky with a form reversal garnering 20 points to turn his day around.
The day was capped off by the presence and support of Litts and Macca. Their driving skills honed at the Daytona challenges played during the working years were on full display. And the phone camera Litts liberally snapped about was stopping the action shots without a blur, as the photo album above shows.
Tuesday, January 28, 2020
A very special presentation preceded the golfing antics – the Little Master was playing his 300th game. And there were plenty of memorable achievements by this very popular member to reminisce about, including his four Club Championship titles and that memorable Mornington Masters 7 where he won both the Masters and Match Play titles. And so the two workers, and Pinky, stepped up and flayed their way to an ignominious start expertly replicated by the following foursome. The collective result – a total of 52 shots (against 35 for par) and just 5 Stableford points, 4 of which were contributed by the reasonably steady Litts and Jacko! It was the perfect portent of things to come. And they came, the crew amassing a total of 19 wiped holes! Must've been the energy-sapping humidity or the lack of Macca's calming influence. Along the way, todays winner Dalbs hit both his drive and subsequent third shot at the 2nd hole out-of-bounds and sliced and duffed his way to just 5 points after 6 holes before coming home with a bum's rush of 10 points and a solid base to win the countback! Unbelievable. Squancey was having similar convulsions, a series of doubles and triples amassing 7 points after 7 holes before WHAM!! he'd parred the last two holes for 7 points to feature in the countback. If anyone showed a modicum of consistency, Pinky was the man with a par and some bogeys and doubles from holes 2 to 8 but his book ends were riddled with white ants, or quadruples to be precise, to place him in the countback mix. Joining these three was the Walks. What can one say . . . he did a "Pinky" starting and finishing with triple/quadruple and, in between, had a further two wipes. His 14 points came from just 5 holes – two pars and three bogeys – while his duels in the rough were too frequent . . . and the rough won, particularly at the 9th where an extra stroke due to a lost ball proved costly.
In this crazy maelstrom, we looked to the "Mr Consistents" for some sense of stability, but they were equally infected with the Sea View virus. Litts's card had an element of sobriety about it with just one wipe, but he couldn't get a consistent flow in his stroke-play and he'd used up too many good putts over the previous two weeks. Jacko was up'n down, every stroke still carefully planned but the club had other ideas on too many occasions and surprisingly he pulled up (rather exasperated) without a par and too many doubles and triples to his name. But it was a good enough effort to win the NAGA on countforward from . . . the 300 game man. On such an occasion, it's not for me to dwell on the outcome suffice to say that the profoundly emotional backlash that can come from the realisation that it's your 300th game can affect the physical (ability to be metronomic). Watch out when he regains his composure next week!
Results:
1st: Dalbs (14) on countback from . . .
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
Delightfully cool weather ushered in the return of the prodical son. The Little Master, gone gallivanting since the running of the Melbourne Cup, was back and in fine spirits. And today marked yet another milestone – Squanceys 200th game – but the man in sandles was a little nonplussed. Not due to this significant event though, but because he'd forgotten his golf shoes! Refusing to be goaded into playing in the buckle-ups, he raided the golf shop and returned with a spiffing pair of shoes and socks, and received a spiffing 200 game Certificate expertly MC'd by Jacko. And then the next serious order of business was under way, albeit requiring someone to make up at least 4 putts to catch the halfway leader of the Golden Putter. That incumbent was in no mood to give the plebs a sniff, potting a 4.556m putt on the first green for 1 putt and repeating the 1-putt dose on the next two . . . and throwing in another two 1-putts including at the last hole just for good measure. It was skilful placement just off the green for the chip/putt routine as well as sinking yet another long putt. CONGRATULATIONS LITTS on your 4th title and the most wins of this Award. And with a 45 off the stick (including 4 pars and despite a quadruple) he'd ensured consecutive podium finishes. Special mention to Walks also stroking 14 putts who claimed it could've been better had a couple of long putts that were right on course not have pulled agonisingly short (by inches). Walks' hint of the week: "Aim to putt the ball past the hole every time"!
But it didn't stop there. The Little Master had flown into the Hamersley car park much to everyone's delight. It's usually a signal that anything can happen . . . and it did. With that metronome (SKLZ Gold Flex 48 Trainer) swing, he cranked out long and straight drives, some great approach shots and confident putts to par the first two holes before a series of bogeys interspersed with two doubles produced a 9-over winning round. He's like that! The seasons leading attendee, Acting Treasurer/MC/Mr Consistent Jacko was quietly flying under the radar knocking out a 43 off-the-stick and yet another NTP. His effort included 6 bogeys, 1 par and THAT birdie at the 17th. Seems he was 60m out in the rough in 2 and, as everyone else went about their business, pitched it into the hole much to the surprise of the others who were wondering what the screaming was all about. What a difference the short stick can make as Pinky experienced today. Never in the field of golfing putts has so much in strokes been owed by so many falling short to so few struck firmly. A hangover from putting on slick Royal Freo greens to moving onto the slower dance floors at Hamersley and very frustrating when most were right on line. Hit some belters off the tee knocking off the Little Master for the LD. Dalbs was a model of inconsistency, drifting in and out of golfing consciousness combining some cracking good shots with too many "where did it go" ones. And on his milestone day, Squancey didn't play all that badly over the majority of holes. But he was at the mercy of Stroke, the low points being an unfortunate two holes – a quadruple and a triple – costing 7 of his 11 handicap strokes; the highpoint – not one expletive!! It was just enough to pip Dalbs for the morning's NAGA crown.
Results:
1st: Little Master (Net 33)
Tuesday, January 14, 2020 All the fun of the fair with six ace putters lining up for the Golden Putter challenge on a perfect morning for golf. A dark horse trotted into the fray, reknowned in the past for his putting finesse and numerous challenges to his Presidential status. There were also a record number of practice green appearances all of which didn't look to bode well for low putting scores. Stand-in Treasurer Jacko rattled the till and we lined up behind the 1st tee regulars, a Match Play organised as we waited. It was the Squancenator versus Dapper Dalbs in a battle for a place in the Match Play Final.
Match Play: It had rather a rhythmical beat – Squancey out to 1-up; Dalbs pegs it back to square; the pattern being repeated three times with only three holes squared along the way. At the1st and 4th, Dalbs tried to play the hole via the adjacent fairway and paid the price while Squancey tried the same trick at the 6th and Dalbs got one back at which point the match was square and stayed that way almost to the 9th except Dalbs missed a 0.5m putt and cried all the way to the 9th tee 1 down. After neatly cutting the corner, Squancey placed his second 5m short of the green while Dalbs drove left and finally appeared on the dance floor in 3 around 3m from the pin. Inexplicably, Squancey took 4 more agonising shots to pot the ball while Dalbs 2-putted to square the match. And after all that effort, the result was finally decided on net scores.
He put Lazarus to shame. Litts' return was a pearler, playing some of the best topped shots of the year while saving his best 3 actual golf shots for the final hole after a self-examination said "Rotate your body more" But the lead up to this revelation was . . . . . incredible! No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't place his approach shots on the green but managed to follow up with a chip and 1 putt on 5 holes! It was accidental Golden Putter magic! Then came the topped tee shot that was pulled and heading toward a tree to the left of the NTP par 3 hole before missing that, tracking on the left of the green to the back then rolling down the slope to within 2m of the pin to take out the novelty. And on the very next hole, mishit his drive off the bottom of the club to a mere 150m. But no one else found the green stuff and he'd also scooped the Long Drive! His 13 putts was the lowest since the 2015-16 season (when Squancey had 12 in the 1st round!) and, as if his round hadn't been incredible enough, saved the best putt 'til last. His best three actual golf shots had put him 3m from the pin. That familiar stoop and rhythmical sweep of the putter piloted the ball on target before it caught the edge and did a 360 finishing on the lip and . . . . . . after the mandatory pause . . . . . . dropping in!! UNBELIEVABLE. All these shenanigans helped him to his first win in just his second outing. Dawn has locked herself in the bedroom and the grandkids are seeking asylum in a bid to avoid the constant re-telling.
Litts just fended of Pinky in a countback. Brian was making good connection, but the tendency to pull his shots seemed irresistable and he honed his skills hitting out of the left rough. Also appears to be indifferent to the more "grassier" greens than would be encountered at Royal Freo. Walks and Jacko had horror days out. Walks was proving to be erratic off the tee, particularly at the outset, his efforts contributing to being 10 shots over after three. Too many drives nestled in the bush and he had troubles trying to recover, unable to consistently hit out through the "windows of opportunity". But once on the fairway was reasonably OK to the green. Jacko was in similar trouble early, too many drives and irons drifting mysteriously left. Trees were everywhere – beside his ball, directly in line or hovering above and he too was 10 shots over after three, including a VERY uncharacteristic 10 shots on the 3rd. Recovered very well, just 5 shots over for the remaining 6 holes, but his opening salvo grabbed the NAGA by the throat.
Results:
Tuesday, January 7, 2020 There's something curious about mid-round phone calls and these SOTR events. One such call sent Dasher to the car park last week after 9 holes, and so it came to pass this week that another call sent Squancey dashing off after 9 . . . but the reporter has sensed something sinister about this call. More about that shortly. With Head Coach and Tournament Director Macca overseeing proceedings, the balls were tossed and two teams of three drove off on a warm, sunny day at down town Pt Walter. Dalbs did a bolter with an opening par (and 4 points) before a double/two triples reality check. And that was the pattern for the round, knocking out another 5 pars and 1 birdie (including four more 4 pointers) interspersed with a series of reality checks and some "arsey" putts (sinking one from off the green). The 20 points from 5 holes made his score look respectable and proved the difference between his up-'n-down effort and that of the infinitely more consistent Mr Consistent (alias Mr Pt Walter). Jacko was his studious self with 6 pars and 10 bogeys. It's a bugger when you know well the strategic approaches and the "mystery" greens but fire off a few misdirected fairways shots or leave some putts just short (proving that he's only human after all!). His was a fine effort that would normally be expected to win the day. Pinky had rather a mixed round, slow to start over the first three (quad/bogey/triple) and to finish (wipe/double/ triple) but in between was managing to find glimpses of form. Appeared to leave a few approach shots short and be a bit bemused by the "tricks" played by the greens – weren't we all!! (except Jacko).
Walks was pounding them off the tee but finding his way onto the green and into the hole testing over the front nine, chalking up 2 wipes and 14 points in the process. Was more settled, as was his driver off the fairway, over the back while still continuing to entertain with some tree smacking artistry before pencilling a come-back 19 points. Scobes at least had an excuse, not having swung the brassie or mashie much this season. Had a smattering of bogeys, doubles and wipes across the journey, the highlight being his tee shot to within 2 metres of the pin at the par 3 11th for birdie. Also befuddled by the greens? Absolutely! Squancey was travelling well at the outset (bogey/bogey) when, suddenly, three holes went pear-shaped then, suddenly, bogey/par/bogey then, suddenly, wipe! His 14 points at the turn (compared with Dalbs's 19) appeared to trigger the carefully planned ruse that unfolded. It is suspected that, when given a signal, an associate would call him on the pretext of being Mine host Chris was at his superlative best again, lavishing his guests with a sumptuous meal of fresh berries and yoghurt; lamb patty burgers with cheese, tomato, greens and grainy mustard in garlic aioli; beers, soft drinks and coffee. It made all the bad shots played on the way to digesting such a feast much more palatable. Thanks again Jacko!
Tuesday, December 31, 2019 As Blitzen reports . . . Dennis does a dash .. There were four starters on Island for the first leg of the SOTR Challenge but just 3 finishers on Lake. A phone call on the eighth meant Dennis left Walks, Squancey and Jacko after nine holes to attend to secret men’s business, or urgent documents he dare not entrust to anyone else in the family. While Chris’s consistency claims the prize . . . It was a somewhat cagey start with nobody wanting to show their hand too early, and so we left the first green with a 0 for the future Dasher, and 1 point each for Dancer, Comet and Blitzen after 12 putts. Squancey and Walks broke from the pack at the second with 3 pointers but faded towards the end of the nine to finish with 13 and 11 respectively. Jacko had consecutive pars at four and five to make the turn with 18 points while Scobes struggled with three wipes to head for the carpark with 10 points. Jacko continues matching his 1 pointers with 3 pointers over the back nine to post another 18 while Squancey notched it up another gear to do likewise. Walks was missing his usual power drives until the last three holes although his putting let him down and he closed out with another 11 points. Jacko Blitzed the field for the golf ball with 36 points. Squancey came second with 31 and hit the Dance floor on 17 for the NTP, while Walks finished with 22 and the LD for his Comet on the 16th.
Results:
Tuesday, December 24, 2019 As Macca the Wounded Cracker reports . . . What a galaxy of stars that arrived for the (Christmas) Turkey Shoot today. One Wise Man from the East, in the shape of Jeff Carlton; three reasonably wise men - Jacko, Brian and Squancy - from the South; and The President Returns! President-for-Life G. Desmond Little was raring to go at 5:15am and we happily welcomed him back. And what a day on the course. Sure the players had a few, well, quite a few moans about the slow greens and the odd gentle zephyr was described by some of them as unfair, but to my trained eye, the day was perfect for big time golf. Ronzo's favourite Par Bisque caused a few kerfuffles after each hole as the grey matter was stretched to almost breaking point. The early start had the benefit of again allowing us to play as a fivesome and this allowed the competitors to keep an eye on their nearest opponents and make the appropriate technical calculations. Did the big time golf eventuate? Well, not quite. Squancey showed out as the master of this French game with sound use of his 11 stroke handicap. His 45 off the stick, including three pars, earned him a +5 score and victory. Although his usually excellent drives were a little off centre at times, he won the long drive with a very fine shot. No one else actually made it onto the fairway! Next was Jacko, whose miserly nine handicap strokes were used up after seven holes. Three pars and a similar score off the stick to Squancy led to a +3. Third place on a count-back was brave Jeff Carlton, coming off a broken ankle two months ago. His +1 from a 17 handicap helped overcome Pinky, who used his 14 strokes well enough mathematically, but the 53 off the stick was not up to his usual standard. Brian won the NTP with a fine shot, and he converted that to a par. Everyone else joined Brian with short putts, generally short approach shots and the odd wayward iron throughout the day. El Pres deserves his own paragraph! Burdened with an antique eight handicap, he parred both par threes but lacked a bit of match practice on the longer holes. Perhaps the handicapper will cut him a little slack to allow a gradual return to his former status. The classic 'Little Bounces' were evident at times but Jacko's use of wood came to the fore and a 'Jacko Bounce' call was heard from the bleachers on at least one occasion. A delightful game and post-game coffee. The sometimes over-zealous, sometimes parsimonious use of the gimme were perhaps the only negatives arising on the day.Results:
Tuesday, December 17, 2019 [Note for next year: Impossible to be in car park by 5.15. Gates not open 'til then]. I've always wondered what time the leading car arrived at those shut gates. Goes to show how much idle time one has when the mind ponders such trivialities. Even smacks of someone desperate for an opening line to get today's report revved up. Great to be back on the Old Course but the combination of humidity and warm sun made for a sticky finish to the round. Not too many galahs around the course, just one in a sort-of-Christmasy shirt . . . and one, even, in a dark blue shirt!! Seven contestants with Scobes thankfully able to join us and get thrown immediately into Match Play. And one observer – great to see Elena again before she heads back to Moscow on Christmas Eve. But it was the golf we were here for and to win the 20th running of the age-old (chipped) Christmas Cup.
Squancey was doing a "Scobes", being "6 shots over for the first 3 holes, before playing the next 6 in impressive style finishing just 5 shots over and nailing 2 pars." His driving was apparently on song taking out the long drive having to surpass an impressive effort from Jacko. Walks looked set to cream the field. His powerful drives, penetrating irons and consistent putting over the first 5 holes had him just 3 shots over and 13 points. But this sometimes fickle game can throw a curve ball or two and Walks walloped a few curve balls for a triple and doubles over 3 of the last 4 (interspersed with a par) to dent his chances. Pinky had one of those hot and cold days, only 3 shots over for his best 4 holes but 10 over for his not-so-good holes (and 1 wipe). He'll be a handful of trouble when more consistency sets in. Jacko burst out of the blocks with that measured stroke play with 8 points after the first three and looking decidedly ominous. Then kerplunk, two triples and a double for a killer mid-round slump before that measured approach began to function again but the damage had unfortunately been done but not to his handicap. Dalbs's game could only be measured by the distinctly overrepresented number of kerplunks. Couldn't blame the sort-of-Christmasy shirt but certainly felt like a galah.
Very happy to say we were joined by THE President at the 18th green before retiring to the cool of the club house. It was a breakfast of wraps and burgers and pies and quiches all round washed down with coffee and much jovial banter. Scobes dominated with his presence and presentations – his Christmas Cup win and receipt of his 300th game Certificate – and we gave a cheery send off to history-making Elena who returns home to Moscow Christmas Eve. And, yes, we did miss the presence of the Allardices and the Little Master.
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
Asked if coming from the very cold climes of Russia to the early heat waves of Perth was of any concern, Elena shrugged off the suggestion and is looking forward to it. This lady has attitude! She walked seven holes with the lead group before heading to the cafe for coffee. But not before creating another first for the GBWGC! We hope to see her at another round before she returns home.
Match Play. It was a close affair from the start though they weren't close that often down the runway, typified by Dalbs firing right into the rough and Brian left off the first tee. But they stuck together on strokes turning square at the 3rd. Both were lying two on the third green when the first inkling off the eventual outcome manifested itself as a Dalbs 2-putt/Brian 3-putt put the thin man ahead. A tidy 4th by Brian and he didn't need the extra handicap stroke to immediately return the match to square. Brian left rough, Dalbs right rough down 5th but an uncanny 9-iron to within a metre of the pin and a 1-putt put Dalbs 1-up and it was again stroke for stroke going to the 17th tee. Brian's ginormous drive cleared the tallest tree on the course landing squarely on the 18th fairway. It didn't look good as he belted his second up the 18th but then hit a cracking iron which sailed high over the trees, past the pin and stopped on the edge of the green. He was back in the contest! Dalbs took the more conventional route and also lay 3 but a tad closer. Then that deja vu moment – Dalbs 2-putt/Brian 3-putt – the two only able to be separated by the vagaries of the short stick.
Where's Macca? Was it spiritual possession? Perhaps a distinct possibility given the amount of chanting as he pummeled most drives and irons, pitched and chipped with gay abandon and putted fairly consistently. After the 4th hole he'd equalled his total score from last week and after the 6th had equalled his score from the week before that! Two pars, 6 bogeys and a double later (for 44 off-the-stick) and the Sharman had cast his spell over the course. Anyone know of a good exorcist before next week's Major? Jacko was very spirited and very consistent save for one blemish on the 17th - a wipe. The other 8 holes were a treat to watch as that cautious, methodical and carefully considered game produced 3 pars, 5 bogeys, a huge podium smile and a return to that 8 handicap! Walks and Squancey were battling and they ultimately battled it out for today's NAGA. "I was hopeless" said the big fella, "Lacked a bit of confidence off the tee" which produced some inconsistent results, including just 6 points from the first 6 holes. Then par, par, bogey for 9 points - go figure! On the other hand, Squancey was fairly good off the tee but missed a few too many chip shots. His greatest handicap was the inability to swear at the various mishits – even the English versions – so as not to upset our history making visitor.
Tuesday, December 3, 2019 The early starts are really appreciated when 42 degree temperatures are expected. Turns out it wasn't just the weather that was hot, two of our number hitting some mighty blows today off the tee and streaking away from the rest of the field. That field numbered five and it was a fivesome from the start. The pattern was set from the first blow, Walks, Squancey and Jacko posting bogeys and Macca and Dalbs double bogeys but not before the bogey boys had hit some pretty impressive drives as the prelude. Walks continued pounding, pitching and putting his way to the 17th tee in fine style just 7 shots over and 15 points, save for a rickety ride down the 13th where a tree or two were in for punishment resulting in his only triple. Squancey was terrific off the tee and, despite a few 2nd shot blues, was happily coasting along with a string of bogeys and 2-pointers and also arrived at the 17th tee 7 shots over but with 16 points. The batttle for first place honours was on. Squancey's driving over the last two went suddenly army-ish – one left, one right and a few deviations to follow, resulting in a double and triple and an anguished Grrrrrr or two. Walks had a deja vu 13th at the 17th for a double but pounded out another Long Drive at 18. It still took another 5 shots to pot the white but that extra point got the tie and just snatched the countback.
Jacko had his up-and-down moments, up with some clean, majestic striking off the tee/fairways and down with some not-so-majestic, including a few uncharacteristic miscued short irons all combining to produce 3 doubles, just 1 par and some relief in the form of an extra handicap stroke next week. Dalbs was "all style but no substance" (to quote a coffee quaffer), rarely in control of drives and irons and back to fluffing some short shots in a lacklustre performance featuring 5 doubles and a triple. Though Macca just had one of those days, he did take to the par 3's (par; bogey) and to the "Give way to the Groundsmen" cardboard sign with his drive at the 11th, the ball smacking through it leaving it a bit the worse for wear . . . as was Macca after Results:
Tuesday, November 26, 2019 The pressure to kick start Match Play was mounting with Round 2 matches scheduled to commence next week and not one Round 1 match yet contested. It was a magnificent morning in which to tear each other apart but only one matchup was possible – Walks against Jacko. And Squancey was back from his Brisbane jaunt fully refreshed to witness this drawcard event. Walks v Jacko: Not much is known about the first two holes apart from both going stroke for stroke (both with par at the 11th) to join up with the lead trio at the 3rd all square. It was at this point that the contest had a significant impact, not on each other but on Macca! (more later). It also signalled the start of two more par holes for the smooth driving, hot chipping Jacko who approached the 14th tee 2 up after some wayward tee efforts by Walks, one a massive drive on the 13th that threatened to take out the no. 423 bus service on Milverton Ave before a tall tree intervened. Jacko's trip down the 14th was mostly bush and trees, Walks doing enough to claw one back, then another after an extra handicap stroke made the difference, then another after plonking a cracking drive onto the par 3 16th green to secure par. Perhaps it was the excitement of being 1 up at the 17th that saw Walks thump another massive drive way left. Thankfully the 423 bus route doesn't travel down the 18th fairway and he struggled against Jacko's cool persistence as Mr Consistent got the bogey and it was all square with one to go. Both were close to the green in three, Walks with an extra handicap stroke. Jacko's immaculate pitching put him to within 3m of the pin while Walks's long putt sidled up to within a 0.5m. Jacko sank a great putt. Walks had everything to gain and . . . phew, it just made it. It was a tantalising contest well played by both.
Squancey sped out of the blocks with a magnificent fading drive 200m down the middle and finished off well for par. That typified his game for most of the round with just a few blemishes off the tee and one wayward tug hard left into the native grasses (emotions beautifully controlled). But he'd easily done enough over the journey to claim his first season win. Dalbs was out to prove that last week's fade out was no fluke. Flirted with a few drives in the rough but recovered each time to post 15 points after 7 holes at which point the clubs gave up, their master stroke being a drive off the 18th tee that almost came to rest on the 17th green! Macca was charging along with his free-wheeling game over the first two, going par/birdie (and 6 points) and the future was looking bright. But the arrival of the Match Players signalled a sudden change of fortunes and ball direction, one particularly notable 3 wood crashing headlong into the 150m post on the (unlucky) 13th. A wipe, a double and two triples cast a grey shadow over the remaining 7 Results:
Tuesday, November 19, 2019 A magnificent morning presiding over a magnificent vista for a Major event. Alas, work and travel had taken a heavy toll and it was up to four quality golfers to contest the 7th running of this year's Championship. Course appeared to be in good nick though not much run on the fairways and some greens were a bit two-paced. It was to be a challenging round on a course rated somewhat harder (slope 130) than Hamersley (114).
Only Walks excelled on the initial salvo as Dalbs took to the practice fairway and the rest off to the right. The thin man recovered well, generating some bogey/par golf to amass 15 points over the first 6 holes. Then came the Ronzo moment from last week – "I should've left after the sixth hole" – as 2 doubles and a wipe produced only 2 more points. But those 2 points from staying proved to be crucial. Walks had had a similar scoring experience but at the start of his round, pounding them off the tee but struggling to get the ball in the hole and only had 2 points after the first 3 holes, including a "Hit wrong (Dalbs's) ball" on the 3rd green. After some debate about penalty, the score card came up trumps with the ruling and Walks was one extra stroke worse off. But it stirred him into action, rattling off some power hitting (including the Long Drive) to go 6 over for the last 6 holes, including a 3 pointer at the hardest 18th hole, just (agonisingly) missing a medium range putt to force a tie which would have produced a win on countback with Dalbs who had the last hole 'diabolicals', having to stand in a near-9th-green bunker to play his ball resting on the bunker edge – and fluffing it, ultimately wiping the hole.
Macca and Jacko didn't have the best of rounds and it soon became apparent that their prospects of a win today were rapidly dissolving. And so it became a battle of the battlers to see who could avoid the dreaded NAGA. Macca had his nose in front by a point after the first and the two went left/right, fat/thin, sweet-spot/sweet-spot in various combinations, reaching their zenith at the 6th with 3-pointers each, but Macca still had a 1 point lead. Bushbound Macca and disciplined Jacko saw them square after the 7th at which point Macca attempted to take out road workers toiling adjacent to the 8th green while Jacko was digging himself out of sand. Despite Macca's OOB, they both finished with 5 shots as Macca went 1-up with the handicap advantage. Stroke for stroke over the 9th and another Macca handicap advantage and Jacko was consigned to his 3rd NAGA title. Coffee, bread and jam, banana bread and a friand went down extremely well at Il Lido as the mornings trials and tribulations were quickly forgotten.
Results:
Tuesday, November 5, 2019 It was the game that stopped the nation. Statistics, printing, power generating, spreadsheet automating, barista'ing, tourism, home maintenance all took a hit (so to speak). Only the TAB counter remained open for the inaugural running of the Melbourne Cup. A brilliant turnout and a star studded field gathered in the birdcage, including Steve and the Little Master for their first season outing. The only drawback was the closure of the main race track. The substitute course had recently been cored and sanded, fairways and all, which made for some putting frustrations and overall low scores, and anyone who scored better than par would be playing superbly scintillating golf. Nevertheless it was still great to be out swinging in such a prestigious new Major on a magnificent morning.
Dalbs immediately went bush but recovered for bogey, the first of seven from consistent driving and an unusually solid short game. His only real blemish was 4 putts at the 2nd while the highlight was a second shot into the 4th green to within a metre with 1 putt producing a birdie. Woody Woodpecker Walks was a bit wayward early, highlighted by attempts at the 2nd hole to extract himself from the rough. His first cannoned into a tree rebounding back toward him while his second (and best) also rebounded off a tree, flew back into another and rebounded off that to land near where the shot was taken. It sounded for all the world like a woodcutters convention. Came back strongly over the middle stretch, including birdie at the par 3 5th. Little Master made an auspicious season start, claiming 3rd after a countback from Allardice the Elder. Not bad for his first outing in a while, that metronome swing producing 5 bogeys and, to his credit, no wipes.
Ronzo "I should've left after the sixth hole" should have left after the sixth hole. He was rattling along mainly bogey and a par for 14 points but ran out of puff, managing to scramble just 2 more points. Brian was a little out of sorts, especially on the sandy greens where so many putts went begging (for mercy) and a few of those crisp drives took a wrong turn. His was a frustrating round. Squancey shrugged off any concerns about the shoulder with a painless, magnificent first drive (even the shrug didn't hurt). Was hampered though by two "blow outs" and one too many doubles but was still a winner by getting through the round unscathed. Jacko of the 6 handicap started well with 6 points over the first 3 including par on the testing 2nd. Try as he might, a wipe at the par 3 5th and an absence of pars put a significant brake on his score but a welcome handicap rise. Steve, of Iron Man fame, looked the goods as he strode to the first tee and produced that lusty thumping drive. Someone forgot to tell the ball it was meant to hurtle 170m down the fairway, managing to bounce its way just 30m. Chalked up three 7's to start, the angel number 777 meaning that abundance is waiting to be unlocked. It came to pass over the last three holes (7 of his 12 points) including, according to one one-eyed observer, "the longest drive ever seen by anyone in GBW" – around 210m! Where's Breakfast at Maccas was greatly appreciated and quite some fare. Barista coffee, orange juice and vegetable juice to start; olive bread, crumbly cheese and prosciutto (delicious); veerryyy tasty warm beef or chicken croissants; fruit platter and nuts and seeds. Thank you Jeannie and Macca for a sumptuous feast! It was a Melbourne Cup to be remembered.
Tuesday, October 29, 2019 Walks reports . . . Another perfect morning for golf. There were 6 starters. Ron opted for a cart and Macca jumped in with him. They led off as a twosome and were followed by the other 4 (Jacko, Walks, Pinky and Scobes). Yes ,Scobes made his first appearance for the year. As it turned out it was a day of good play by nearly all. Winner on the day was Jacko who was in scintillating touch. He had a gross of 38 and net of 24 stableford points comprising 6 pars, 1 birdie, 1 bogey and 1 double bogey (missed a 2 footer). The rest of the group watched in awe as he sunk several long puts from more than 3 metres. Coming second was Macca on 23 points. He had 4 pars and is continuing to show much improved form this season. Third place went to Walks with 22 points who was more consistent than usual.
Other fair efforts were Scobes on 20 points and Ron on 19 points. Brian ended up NAGA on 14 points. The recently sanded greens put the brakes on several of his putts that ended up short. All in all an enjoyable outing.
Tuesday, October 22, 2019 Macca observed . . . A 'number of statisticians', or whatever is the appropriate collective noun, gathered on a clear, warm morning for the first round played on our home back nine. No one was keen on playing their respective Match Play opponents. However, Brian is ready to challenge Steve at Wembley next week. Everyone enjoyed the outing, and looking at the cards there was no single hole score greater than 7. Jacko was his usual self with solid golf throughout, his reward being first place, 44 off the stick, 19 stableford points . . . and a drop in handicap to just 8! Macca played to his improving 13 handicap for second place on 18 points and 49 strokes. Walks had a couple of uncharacteristic wayward drives today. More Walks-like was his gallant attempt to rescue Macca's runaway buggy on the 17th, resulting in a wayward buggy of his own. He did hole a spectacular off-the-green putt on the 11th for a par and also parred the other par 5 14th. He had 50 strokes for 17 points and third place. Brian also had 50 strokes but for 16 points and fourth place. His drives and some approaches were high, not wide, and handsome but while his drives were long, there were a few too many short putts. Ronzo couldn't get his signature big drives going then had some trouble moderating his rescue shots. He would be disappointed with the resulting NAGA but rewarded with his expanded handicap. The back nine was in pretty good shape. There were two shortened holes with temporary tees but new tees should be fully functional by our next Hamersley event - the new Melbourne Cup major.
Results:
Tuesday, October 15, 2019 Brrrrrrrr . . . 7 degrees in the waterbag and the multiple layers were on. There was the big man but, where was the big van? It was either too cold or perhaps the starter motor's shot but he couldn't get it started, though his neighbours probably started at all the whirring and sputtering. So the family car was pressed into service. It was obviously too cold for the pro as well, his digs shut tight and staying that way as the fab five sauntered down to the 1st tee to give way to two groups of regulars. And the first of the qualifier Match Plays was on, almost taking a back seat to the issue "When is the GBW 9 to be opened?". Dalbs and Ronzo were out for a place in the Match Play top eight, placed in that predicament by the draw of the "Noisy Scrub Bird" of Gwelup. Ron strode to the 1st tee, braced his body and smashed his drive a smidgeon past the ladies tee. Was this an omen as Dalbs belted one of his 7 relatively straight drives for the round down the right side and immediately went 1-up? It was the Great Man's only real blemish off the tee. What didn't help him over the round were some mishits tee-to-green (see pics) and some putts that fell well short, helping Dalbs to be 2-up after 4. That didn't last as Ronzo sank a 15m putt on the par 3 5th for birdie and, after lying 15m off the 6th tee in 3, Dalbs managed to sink the final putt for a 10, losing the only hole on which he had an extra stroke to Ronzo's 8! From being square at the 6th, Dalbs swallowed his pride and managed par/bogie while, for Ronzo, it was either too cold or his starter motor was shot as he struggled for a double and a triple to go down in gentlemanly fashion 2 and 1. He also ran into Dalbs on a day when he'd shot 37 off-the-stick for eight holes.
Meanwhile, the regular stoush between Macca and Walks was in full swing. Each were having their ups and downs. Macca was trundling along for par and 2 bogies to be +2 before a string of three doubles produced the first of his two minuses and used up valuable points. Recovered for 3 bogies but had used up his handicap strokes after the 17th to come home with his second minus. Walks was having driving woes, hitting some dead straight but straight into the trees. It wasn't so much an issue over the first 5 holes where 4 bogies and a double saw him +4 and 10 of his 14 handicap strokes spent. The par 5 6th was a bit of a bush-fest – and a 10! (I don't feel too bad now - Ed.) but it didn't put him off and he smashed 2 pars to be +5 with 2 strokes in the bag (to Macca's zip) going to the 18th full of confidence. Then came one of those drives which snuggled up to trees and Black Boys. Try as he might, it ended up a 7 on the card, 2 well preserved strokes gone begging and Macca gone gloating over his countback success. Jacko burst out of the blocks with par but then settled into a bogey/double bogey routine, the magical chip shots beset by demons on too many occasions. Striding onto the 7th tee, he was +4 BUT he'd invested heavily in the handicap market and hadn't hedged his bets. There were no handicap strokes in the bank. But this risque gambler strode on, confident of par or better over the closing three. And the rest is history. After supping on a warming coffee, Apres Golf took to the practice green after a four season drought. Jacko, Walks and Dalbs stole the $6 left-over coffee money and turned it into prizes for 1st and 2nd. The three hadn't lost their imagination for conjuring up challenging "holes", some requiring you to go clockwise around one pin anticlockwise (you had to be there!) to get to the target pin. Jacko took the top money with a faultless, relentless display while Dalbs (2nd) and Walks both had the hapless experience of putting the wrong side of the intermediate pin (you had to be there). Great fun and must be repeated. Results:
Tuesday, October 8, 2019 A sight for sleepy eyes – the Big green van in it's season debut taking pride of place. And, for a forecast of very warm weather, the morning was chippy and the extra coverings were on. There were 5 to take to the stage in a Par contest – Bert (Walker), Ernie (Mac), Big Bird (in the big van), Cookie Monster and (Oscar) the Grouch. Everyone was quite animated. Today's round was brought to you by the letter F(ront) and the number 9. Bert was straight down the middle of the street from get go but, as he strode up the 2nd, he was hatching a winning plan – nick the opposition's ball. The Grouch was his first victim but Bert's mate Ernie, with his chuckling laugh, soon put a stop to that and an upset Bert wiped. But his serious nature prevailed and with that booming drive and irons and a few stuttering putts, he took centre stage, finishing with his favourite number 6. Big Bird had flown in especially to play the competition he loves so much – Par. His ungainly gait produced a crooked flight off the first but feathers started to fly from then on, that "Master Blaster" reputation on show, though a few floundering flaps saw some of his landings fall short of the mark. There were a few misunderstandings with the card too, but his 3 wipes were beautifully counterbalanced by three +'s. Ernie forgot his Rubber Duckie and it troubled him for a while, wiping 2 of the first 5 holes. But his happy nature and love of playing games (particularly on others) prevailed and he came home strongly, able to bathe himself in glory after winning a countback.
Cookie Monster monstered his first off the tee (see pic above) but, with his voracious appetite for golf, was heard to say "Me want par!" And so it came to pass. After serving up a feast last week, things again looked ominous. But after a series of intermittent mishits and near-miss putts, his round was defined by the numbers 3 and 6, and he was subsequently heard to say "Me want cookie!" and, after losing the countback cried "Me want hashish cookie!". Oscar the Grouch had brought out the trash early and Results:
Tuesday, October 1, 2019 Macca says . . . Let me record this game as it was played, as a Stableford round, and then I will give the results as they should officially have been played...as a Stroke round. These are the results that will be recorded for posterity! It was as if the Winter competition was continuing, with the same regulars meeting in the carpark on time: Jacko, Squancy, Walks and Macca. All that was different was the lack of cold air blowing up from the deep South. Missing were Dalbs, (appointments); Tom, (work); Ron (cold); Pinky (somewhere on the Med.); Steve ('armless); Dennis (unsighted); and The President.(Out of Africa). Like Opening Day, we played the front nine as irrigation work was being carried out on our home back nine. Overcast, but perfect golf weather but no one had read the fixtures. Even Jacko missed the point - it should have been a STROKE round. However the markers luckily recorded each stroke and the actual results will be revealed forthwith. Winner by any measure was Jacko with a 43 off-the-stick round including five pars, and only 13 putts – a pity the pars don't count towards his eclectic score. His brilliant round of net 32 had him just two over par on the last seven holes and included the NTP on the short 5th hole (and he missed the birdie putt). Walks's count-back runner-up result (by 0.33 of a stroke) came from a parlous, and a par-less, round with his usual laser-controlled drives still a little out of kilter and his putts in need of a polish. Two wipes didn't help his score but look for the usual class to return soon, with the approaching Majors in November and December. Macca's round was OK but as usual, totally inconsistent. Somehow managed to win the long drive on the 8th owing to a Squancy miss-hit, and Walks and Jacko just missing the fairway. Two pars and a tooth and nail battle with Walks throughout the day kept the game interesting, but was just pipped by Walks on a count-back . . . though the result would have proved the reverse under Stableford. Mr Squance was a little out of sorts after his Brisbane sojourn and he would not be happy with his uncharacteristic 50 stroke round. We wish him well in his hospital visit on Friday and his hopefully short enforced break from the game. Look for his reappearance on the podium and gutsy performances again soon. Graham's spectacular 190 metre approach to get out of We excitedly await the return of the missing golfers in coming weeks! Results:
Tuesday, September 24, 2019 Five starters for the opener with Ronzo sick in bed with the nurse (and the flu'); Tom somewhat discombobulated about the start time; Pinky overseas taking snaps of big water hazards; and Scobes MIA. They all missed a history making event . . . our first round played on the front nine, the GBW 9 closed for maintenance. And the course seemed abandoned as we strode to a vacant 1st tee, with Macca, Walks and Jacko off as a threesome followed by Dalbs and Squancey as a twosome to join up as a fivesome out of club house view on the 2nd.
If your first name was Graham/Graeme, you were at a distinct advantage. Macca was the standout, in more ways than one, after cruising to par on the first. The morphing to a group of 5 at the 2nd seemed to put him off his stroke as he rattled off 2 triples. We're not sure what happened after that to inspire the boy but he knocked out some steady and mainly accurate golf to go just 5 shots over including 2 pars. His trick shots along the way included two direct hits on the 200m marker and a tree at the 3rd, both rebounding toward him, and a third direct hit on the bin at the 6th. Never a dull moment - and just a pity his effort couldn't count toward the Eclectic!! Walks threw everything at the first three holes, finding plenty of rough and a wrong fairway and almost hitting double figures on the 3rd to be 8 shots over. What followed was Macca-esque with booming drives and a good scramble or two to also go just 5 shots over, including two 4 point holes and an NTP, and grab a good second. Squancey needed time to stretch the muscles after the long drive, some putts and a few irons going askew over the first 2 holes to be 6 shots over and 1 point. A few stern words later and the beast in him produced some tidy golf, covering the next 7 holes just 6 shots over including 3 pars, the strong finish securing a third placing on countback. Dalbs was in sand on the first and at sea on the second, struggling to fire off golf shots. But slowly the black bag began producing clubs that could knock out some point scoring, travelling just 4 shots over for the next 5 holes before they retreated back into the bag exhausted. We were expecting big things from the winter comp Captain with his generous 10 handicap. But Results:
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The continuing rise of Apres golf continued today, Jacko taking out the $2 and the most number of wins.
Apres Golf was a nip-and-tuck affair with a hefty $10 up for grabs. Each had a turn at travelling on the dark side of the pin and it all came down to the last putt which Dalbs potted to ensure a tie with Litts and coffee money for each next week.
Club Champion: CHRIS JACKSON
That limestone quarrying and lime burning began in the Joondalup (then Connolly) area in 1910? The early settlers burned their own lime, using it for building purposes and as a road base. In the 1930s, a building boom saw a greater demand for lime and large quarries were dug throughout the northern suburbs. During the 1960s and 1970s, Bell Brothers held the greatest number of mineral claims in the Connolly region. Bell and ACI Operations also extracted silica and some lime sands. Limestone quarrying ceased in Connolly in 1980. In 1982, the Joondalup Development Corporation formalised the idea of developing Connolly as a golf course estate. The golf course was designed by American Robert Trent Jones Jr., and Graham Marsh was contracted for three years to publicise the Joondalup Golf Course. The cost of the golf club building was estimated to be $750,000. The original quarry excavations were absorbed into the golf course design and the course was officially opened on 16 October 1985. AusGolf ranks Joondalup's Quarry/Dunes 9th in their top 100 while, for Golf Digest, it's ranked 21st.
Jacko had a tough contract, giving 9 strokes to the next lowest handicap and 15 to the highest. But he fought tooth and nail, a steady performance marred only by a losing duel with a quarry (Quarry 4th - where we thought he'd disappeared for good); a native grass tree (Lake 7th) and 5 putts of around a metre or less that just wouldn't drop. The Little Master was at his early imperious best hitting them crisply out of the middle and unerringly straight. His secret to the perfect swing? "Maintaining structure". The paparazzi thought it was brilliant. But, as the round progressed, the structure regressed, particularly over Lake where 5 triples and a wipe caused havoc. Squancey made a welcome return at Quarry 5th for warm up holes which didn't carry immediately into Lake, just 5 points gained from the first 4 holes. Came careering home with 13 points over the last 5 including par at the last. Lake 9th (par 5 441m) proved a doddle, all 6 efforts completed in 33 strokes compared with par 30!
Results:
A sunny, clear but warm and oppressively humid morning greeted the seven starters in today's return to Sea View. We weren't expecting much run on the grassy fairways (later mowed after we'd gone through) and the greens were their usual tricky self. Nonetheless, the course was in pretty good nick. It's just that our collective golfing efforts weren't. 
Macca joined us at the 9th after hot footing it around the block to sup the coffee and enjoy the after-game banter. But the morning belonged to Litts and he'll take some GP catching from here!
required at the office. That transpired and Squancey duly departed knowing that his handicap would go out by 1 and Dalbs, should his form continue, would lose a stroke. It worked!! And now, when they front each other in Match Play most likely next week, he will only give Dalbs 1 stroke rather than 3!!
Results:
Match Play. The Match Play that was apparently decided was about to be decided! And what an amazing see-saw, zig-zag, up-and-down game it was. Scobes was giving Macca 3 handicap strokes and they proved to be crucial. The Pace Cracker careered away, his form from last week immediately apparent, hitting par and going 1-up. "Don't get too cocky son" muttered the grey beard as he undercut Macca at the 2nd to square the game. And so an amazing pattern was established, Macca going 1 up at the 12th after Scobes's ball became stymied against a very big tree with the green beckoning in the distance (see pic); Scobes fighting back to square; Macca going 1 up . . . you get the picture. Not one hole squared. They teed off at the 18th all square (of course) with Macca having an extra stroke. And as the last putt fell, they'd both double bogeyed and that extra stroke clinched it. Scobes had had a slow start, 6 shots over for the first 3 holes, before playing the next 6 in impressive style finishing just 4 shots over and nailing 3 pars. It was strong enough to withstand a countback and ensured he'd won the day and his third Christmas Cup title. Which left him pondering "How could I win the round but lose the Match Play?"
Results:
"Who is that charming young woman Brian's talking to?" were the words dragging through Dalb's semi-conscious brain as he careered into the car park. The charming young woman is Elena from Russia who is visiting the Squances at least until Christmas Eve.
It was a perfect start to proceedings today – meeting Elena from Russia on a mission to thaw out in the Perth heat; cool, clear weather perfect for golf; and another Match Play beckoning - Pinky vs Dalbs – with 6 starters to contest the 12th running of the Presidents Trophy (Walks defending). Brian was pleasantly surprised as Walks picked him out for recognition of his first 50 games with GBWGC, quickly followed by a clever crack from the audience about how old he might be before attaining the next 50!! 
Results:
the round.
holes. But a warm cup of Pat's coffee put pep back in the pencil of Squancey's four acolytes as they limped off to face the rest of the days activities.
Macca? Well, he careered off the first and another podium round looked inevitable. And he drove well over the remaining holes but couldn't get the rest together in his usual style. A bit of a downer but you get the feeling it's only a temporary detour. Speaking of which he drove the shared cart with Ronzo and part way round declared he'd always wanted to run rings around Steve on the golf course. Managed to do so several times!
Results:
Results:
was -2 after 3 ragged holes. Leapt briefly out of his beloved trash can on 2 occasions for 2 pars (+'s) before his petulant display returned and he just got grouchier and his complexion greener. 
trouble on the 9th hole brought up his first par for the game. It was a good thing we weren't playing 18!
The countdown to our 37th season (approximately) ended gleefully in the Hamersley car park in fine, cool weather. It was an extra special start to the 2019-20 season, welcomed as we were by Steve's smiling face with score cards in hand. Again, our gratitude to you Steve for the super printing job. Despite the rigours he'd been experiencing over the last 12 months, he thankfully looked fit and well and is keen to get a golf club in his hands again. That might be as soon as mid-November and we all can't wait for that! He was even patient enough to witness the carnage off the first tee after the pre-game events thwarted our ability to use the freshly delivered cards! 
Jacko couldn't get consistency off the tee and too many second shots went begging (to be knocked back out of the rough). He couldn't take a trick, apart from heaving the Long Drive, and left the handicapper to elevate his handicap to a level not seen since the beginning of the 2017-18 season. What's going on? Where's the justice?  ©
2009. The GBWGC website is powered by the |
||